Aaron Rodgers’ Week 3 Success Released!

Aaron Rodgers’ Week 3 Success Released!

Kevin Remenap is a life-long Detroit Lions fan. His weekly column, STIRRED NOT SHAKEN, reflects his feelings as a life long suffering fan. This week Remenap summons Dr. Gregory Ivanovich Feelbeduh to help him express his thoughts on the Detroit Lions defense and how they cured the struggles Aaron Rodgers was facing as quarterback of the Green Bay Packers.

Dr. Gregory Ivanovich Feelbeduh
1265 Lombardi Dr.
Green Bay, Wisc.

Mr. Aaron Rodgers:

Mr. Rodgers, I must say, I think that we have gotten to the bottom of your recent bout of Quarterback-Struggle-itis. After watching you struggle for most of last season, and then to have those struggles carry over to this year, obviously, I was as concerned as anyone about your prospects for the rest of the 2016-17 season. However, seeing as you worked with me on your treatment, and faced a Detroit Lions defense, it became clear that your problems have all disappeared. I must admit, not facing DeAndre Levy and Ziggy Ansah probably made things easier for you, but let’s be clear — you’ve gotten well again, Mr. Rodgers, and our course of treatment worked. Too bad we cannot get treatment like this every week!

Though it was slightly disconcerting watching the Lions throw together a comeback in the second half, but that can be chalked up to a more conservative game plan in an attempt to run out the clock — it was clear you became well again by facing the Lions. While the Lions’ offense did end up making a game of it (by the way you should talk to your general manager, Ted Thompson, about getting you a Marvin Jones up here in Green Bay! He shredded our backups like Jordy Nelson did the Lions starters!), the game was never really in doubt, led by you and your 2016 Get-Well-Game.

Please be aware that we will be watching for signs of regression. The injection of Confidence we gave you — no co-pay, by the way — by allowing to trash a beat up Lions’ defense should be enough to carry over the same stellar play we saw Sunday throughout the regular season. It’s just too bad that we couldn’t get you in for treatment before we saw Minnesota last week! What could have been?! Regardless, the good news is what might have been a ruined season has been saved due to aggressive treatment of facing a bad defense.

I would like you to know that I am going to present our case for publication. As many NFL teams go through struggles, having some success in curing what ails you (or as my brother and I like to say, May the Ale be what Cures You!) could provide some positive recourse for other teams in the league, as well. For instance, Dr. Igor Hopi Getwell of the Chicago Bears has already contacted me in regards to acquiring our cure, and I am sure that there will be other teams on the phone soon hoping to get some Lions on their schedule. Since I cannot keep this cure for bad quarterback play a secret, I just wanted to let you know the entire league will know any quarterback can destroy the middle of the field against the Lions’ defense.

Regardless, Mr. Rodgers, I am glad, as are many Cheeseheads, that you returned to playing at your future Hall-of-Fame status after a round of treatment of playing the Lions. You cannot get another dose of this until Week 17; so if your play dips, you will have to hold out until that date to get more brutal secondary play and absence of linebacking to make you feel better until then. The bad news is, I will be out of town that weekend, and you will have to come to Detroit to receive this breakthrough treatment next time.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Regards,

Dr. G. I. Feelbeduh

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