Posts From Benny Slacks

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Benny Slacks

Benny Slacks

Aint nothin you need to know about me.

Chicago Bears Quarterbacks: Cutler vs Hoyer NSFW

Cutler Hoyer. That’s all Chicago Bears fans are talking about. Benny Slacks, who considers himself our resident Bears Barroom satirist, is talking about it, too. Given the immature nature of his material we caution readers that what follows is usually unsuitable for immature

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Benny Slacks On Three NFCN Players He Does Not Like

We think Benny Slacks is kidding when he wrote this, but we’re not absolutely sure. We are sure that if you’re offended by foul language, you should skip this post. We counted approximately 20 F-Bombs and several more things bound

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Benny Slacks on Bears, Lions, Packers, Vikings and More

Every barroom has a curmudgeon spewing nonsense from behind his beer mug. Here at the Bears Barroom, Benny Slacks is ours. From time to time we open up a bottle of something and after he’s had a couple we force

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Straight Up – Good Bye Antrel Rolle

Benny Slacks is the Bears Barroom resident satirist. At least that’s how we bill him. Some people don’t think “satirist,” is an appropriate title.  Nonetheless, we’ll keep posting his material until we’re paid not to do so. We’re calling his

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Bears 2016 Schedule & Predictions – Benny Slacks Style

Benny Slacks’ immature work is intended for mature readers. People sometime ask why I don’t spend more time on twitter and Facebook and shit like that. I tell them simply to go, “Fuck themselves.” Seriously, I ain’t got time for none

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Bears Free Agency Preview: Offensive Line

The Chicago Bears can begin negotiating with free agents on Monday, March 7. In the days leading up to it, Bears Barroom is going position-by-position through the free agents, identifying what the Bears need and who could be a potential

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Do Not Re-Sign Alshon Jeffery

Ryan Pace should let Alshon Jeffery walk. Don’t even franchise tag him. Save the money, and move on. Now before you inundate my twitter account with angry tweets, hear me out. I was a big fan of Jeffery when he

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Slacks: Straight Up – 10 NFCN Thoughts 0

Being a fan of NFC North football, and especially the Chicago Bears, watching the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions Thursday night was like popping some psychotropic drug and chasing it down with ten shots of Hennessy. By the time Aaron Rodgers

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Slacks: Straight Up – Bears Wish List 0

Was at the mall the other day and saw more Christmas decorations than Halloween crap. Thank you Macy’s for giving me the idea to make my Bears wish list before Halloween. Yes, yes, I’ve been a good boy and all

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Slacks: Straight Up – Tate TD a Bulltrosity 0

The referees didn’t blow the game at Ford Field Sunday, the Bears did. Nonetheless, I’m about to go balls deep into the NFL, Roger Goodell and the league’s so-called Rules and Competition Committee. And, I’m waiving my rights to drunken

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